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Why 'The Flow'?

Updated: Mar 24, 2020

I like jumping in right into the story or specific information that I will be discussing in my posts. So, for example - if I ever post a recipe please don't expect a long essay of where or how to exactly pick the right pineapple or my adventures on searching for the perfect cut of lamb chops, you will just find the recipe and then MAYBE a paragraph after of tips for the recipe (unless it's funny, then it would be in a different blog post). #notaboutthatlife

ANYHOO, why "The Flow," you ask? Well, this is the story.


I was talking to a very good friend of mine on chilly fall day telling her how it's hard to plan every single thing in your life - scheduling it out, thinking about every small detail, what you want to do, where you want to live and how you want to live life. Once you have gone through all of that and all of your planning is done, now you have to act on it. But because you have planned your whole life to a 'T' and dotted all of your 'i's', you almost feel like you have lived it - even though you really haven't.

We as we were discussing the weirdness that is planning your whole life only to disappoint yourself, she looks at me with a little smile on her face and says, "See the thing about planning is when you plan something God is laughing at you. He's just up there making fun of you, laughing, and probably saying pshhht, this kid because she thinks she knows everything, she thinks she is the shit. hohoho! Well, imma show her. "

After a good chuckle, I started to think about it. It took me a while to wrap my head around this idea because of two very important things.

ONE - how she used God. First, I have no issues with peoples belief systems. It's nobody's right to try to force ideologies down your throat and I am a firm believer in that. I respect everyone's wishes to worship whom every they believe in. Personally, I don't know if there is an actual entity out there looking down on us and chuckling about how our human race is kinda ridiculous BUT I do believe that the universe has a way of balancing everything out and, in a way, it can mess with your plans. If what you are trying to do is not "in tune" with what the universe needs, it will most likely fuck with you. Which brings me to number...

TWO - So God/the universe has a plan for you. But don't you need to plan? People, that have no plan at all, how do they go through life? I get being spontaneous and everythi-actually, maybe I don't because I am not a spontaneous person. If you haven't guessed by now I am a planner and I love it. I need my schedules and my routines to function. But maybe what she's trying to say is maybe I don't need to dot all of my 'i's' and just create an outline of what I want it to be like.

With that thought, I came out from my deep pondering expression and told her what I concluded from what she had just told me. And I swear, she looked at me deadpan face and said, "No. You can't even do that."

I sat there stunned, "But.....but why? Why can't you plan? at all? that doesn't make sense to me?! because I want to know where I'll be in 5 years and 10 years and.."

"No." she interrupted me. "no no no no no no no no no, you can't even do that."

So I just sit there absolutely flabbergasted. I had no idea where to go from there and just said "okay."

Because like I have stated - I👏AM👏A👏PLANNER. That's my thing, that's what I love doing. I love planning parties, themed parties specifically. I love having themes to EVERYTHING - and that takes what? PLANNING. I love addressing problems by planning guidelines. I love scheduling when I clean, my daily schedule, and my meals for the week. When I go out with friends, guess who plans where we are going 90% of the time? Me! Why? Because I love doing it!

"No," she continues, "In fact, planning is too harsh of a word."

"How's planning harsh? It's not's not even a negative word. Like you can't..." I muttered into nothing. Then I thought of something. "Okay," I say smugly, " I want to lose weight. How are you supposed to lose weight," I paused for dramatic effect, "and not have a plan or a structured regimen."

"You just take it day by day. Step by step."

"Okay but, you still have to have a goal to reach."

"No. Don't have this big goal in mind. Know that you want to lose that weight, but don't think 'I'm gonna do it by this date and it has to be done in this way.' because you’re setting yourself up for failure."

"Okay, I can see where that makes sense. Have that goal in mind but don't give it a date..." I said and then my rebuttal came, "But I still know what my goal is so isn't that still planning."

"See that's where we differ," she sighed," I wouldn't call that planning, I would call that something else."

"Okay.....what would you call it?" My brain was aching for me to get a hold of this word so I can start using it! I needed this word in my life!

"wahhh, it's on the tip of my tongue but I don't really know." she sat there thinking about it, trying to bring back the word from the depths of her brain.

While I was sitting there on the edge of my seat, my impatience got the better me and I started throwing words at her. "How about 'a guideline?' 'day event?' 'a to-do-list?"

I was thinking about everything and anything on the top of my head that I could think could replace the word plan.

"No, it's not really any of those." she said, still in thought. "I mean, it's kinda just like going with the flow. If you need something to call it, why don't you just call it 'The Flow'."

"Like a flow chart?"

"No." she laughed, "more like a river that is continuously dividing."

That's when something in my brain lit up. 'The Flow' I thought. That's a pretty interesting way to look at your goals and life in general.

"Alright," I said, "I am going to try this out then." and I did.


This little meeting, with my wise older friend, and those two words have been sticking with me ever since. It's almost like it made me become more self-aware of how I 'flow' with everything around me. That everything will happen when it's supposed to happen. You just need to understand what you want, put it out there, and it will come to you. It might take longer or shorter than you expected but if you keep pushing it out there and try every day, it's bound to happen. It's not to say that you don't do anything. You can't just wish to be skinny and have it magically happen. You have to be active in that change.

That is why I decided to start this blog. I want a place where I can do my thing and not have any goals for it. I want this blog to "just go with the flow" and see where it takes me. Little by little, one step at a time and being okay with not having a master plan. Trying things out, experimenting with my creativity, researching topics I want to learn more about and anything else that pops into my head along the way.

That's it. That is the whole concept.

Now that you know the why, I hope you stick around and flow with me down this ever dividing river of experimentation, creativity, and love.

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